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Lost At Sea
by Casey Garven 
Plot
The main character of the story is Jake Huard (James Franco), an 18 year old working at a shipyard in Maryland. Huard is personally approached by a Naval officer who invites him to attend the Naval Academy in nearby Annapolis. Huard decides to enroll. After a tumultuous first semester, Jake decides that his place at the academy involves trading punches with his superior officer, a senior named Lieutenant Cole (Tyrese Gibson) in the annual Naval Academy Brigades, an all-school boxing tournament. Ummmm, yeah. As Austin Powers proclaimed to Felicity Shagwell in reference to missing the 70’s and 80‘s, “You‘re not missing anything. There was a gas shortage and a Flock of Seagulls. That’s about it”. There has never been a more applicable statement in regards to a plot in the history of existence, and there were more gaps in the story than in an Oklahoman’s smile. For instance, when Huard receives his letter of acceptance from Lt. Burton (Donnie Wahlberg), a day before school starts, Lt. Burton gives us “Well it seems a few kids decided they wanted to have fun at college” as the rationale for Huard getting in. Seriously, that’s it. We don’t know why the Academy chose him, who the guy was delivering the letter, or why it was hand-delivered. The unexplained complexities continue, and are equally difficult to stomach as they pile on top of each another. Apparently, the Naval Academy breeds boxers, and every single person who attends is a licensed trainer. We know this because as Huard advances through the tournament, he receives training help from his ex-roommate, Lt. Burton, and even a girl he has a crush on. It is evident that their training expertise and advice is paying dividends for young Huard in a sweet 1980s-esque montage that shows him getting better, stronger, and faster...to a bad song in the background. The only tolerable seconds in Annapolis were due to a relatively creative analogy. Huard’s roommate (Vicellous Shannon), is a chubby overachiever from a small town in Arkansas nicknamed "Twins." When Huard asks him why, after all the trouble he gets him in, Twins still chooses to be his roommate. Twins answers, “Because Jake, you’re my Mississippi.” He continues, “What is Arkansas’ favorite state. It’s Mississippi. Because without Mississippi in the Union, Arkansas is the worst state. So as long as you are around, they forget all about me. That’s why you’re my Mississippi”. Overall, this atrocious, disjointed, porous plot was nothing more than the illegitimate lovechild of An Officer and a Gentlemen, and the Rocky movies, without any of the redeeming qualities of either flicks. Plot - 2 out of 10 Acting One would think that a movie starring Spiderman's James Franco and coverboy Tyrese Gibson would be at least acceptable, and maybe even enjoyable. Wrong on both counts. Both Gibson and Franco have perfected Derek Zoolander’s Magnum stare, but have yet to work on acting. Donnie “The Right Stuff” Wahlberg is really the only decent actor in the entire movie, but every time I see him I think “Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh," and start laughing. The actors are flat, emotionless, and downright brutal, and the dialogues are pointless and forced. Still, the fault has to fall somewhere, and the actors must bear some of the burden for this abomination. Acting - 2 out of 10 Music Every single time Huard returns to the shipyard in naval garb, an eerily similar music begins to crescendo. This happens on more than one occasion, and I kept expecting to see Richard Gere walk out carrying Debra Winger, who is wearing his hat. The music is tragically bad. The music would have been better if Donnie Wahlberg chose Annapolis as the moment to reunite with the rest of The New Kids, and they performed the soundtrack live. Music - 3 out of 10 Entertainment Generally, boxing movies don’t need to incorporate great acting or amazing writing to be entertaining. Rocky III is a perfect example. Good acting? Sly Stallone, Carl Weathers, and Mr. T…you do the math. Good Plot? Everything was predictable, other than Rocky beating Apollo in an awkward slow-motion beach run, followed by an even more awkward slow-motion beach hug. Good music? Eye of the Tiger wasn’t until Rocky IV, and Gonna Fly Now was already in the first two movies, so nope. Was it entertaining? You better believe it. Yet somehow, Director Justin Lin managed to make Annapolis more boring than a Tim Duncan soundbyte. The lack of any coherent theme or character development was inexcusable. There was hardly any insight into what makes the Naval Academy such a hard place to succeed, nor was there really any spectacular fight scenes. All Justin Lin had to do was take the time to properly depict the rigors of life in Annapolis, and add dramatic fights. The only real entertaining part of Annapolis was watching Franco make an attempt at speaking with an eastern accent, and Tyrese making an attempt at speaking period. Entertainment - 3 out of 10 The Tipping Point Bad plot, bad acting, marginal music, and bad entertainment value; it is hard to believe that Annapolis could get any worse. Therefore, there is no Tipping Point for Annapolis, because the entire movie is so bad, you have absolutely no reason to see it. None. It has no humor to divert for lack of plot. There are no hot women to divert your attention (although if you are turned on by a really ripped midget in Franco, be my guest. You will think twice once he opens his mouth). There are no hit singles to divert for lack of music, and there is no Mr. T to divert for lack of entertainment. The whole thing is a dud. The Tipping Point - N/A On a scale of 1 – 10, Annapolis receives a 2.5 out of 10 pieces of lutefisk. 
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