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Beauty School
The best way to spend your tax refund:
survey says...
25%
Resod your lawn with the fake plastic Easter basket grass so you won't have to mow
25%
Conduct experiments to determine what is actually inside those 50 Cadbury eggs you ate
0%
Collect Bobbleheads
0%
Purchase a fake identity so you won't have to pay taxes next year
25%
Construct the world's longest Slip 'N Slide
25%
Have a bronzed statue of yourself erected next to your driveway
This website is for the Sotans by the Sotans. Please help us keep this directory as accurate as possible by emailing update@sotanlife.com with information on any missing establishments or incorrect data.
Sotan Diversions
The Sultan of Sotan Socialization.

A can of Red Bull hung precariously from the dash, threatening to spill over our laps as Rob swerved us through rush hour traffic. We were late for an interview. I was supposed to participate in some capacity, but I wasn’t sure how. I didn’t even really know who we were interviewing, nor did I know why. Not exactly an auspicious beginning to my first joint venture with the president of sotanLIFE. Somehow, I had managed to neglect the biggest assignment I had received to ... read more

by J. Neil Connelly
The text message may be the greatest tragedy to befall modern civilization.
by J. Neil Connelly
The Top 10 reasons spring rules: Joe Mauer's sideburns, debating the merits of Capri pants, and telling obscene lies about your softball skills...
by J. Neil Connelly
Filling out forms before I lose money is like getting a proctology exam before listening to three hours of Uncle Kracker's greatest hits.
by Johnny Pohlmann
Have you ever had one of those conversations that you’ll remember for the rest of your life? (In Memoriam of Karl Pohlmann)
by J. Parker Hageman
Goaded by a March weather system with Tourettes, most people log on to whatever website gets them the cheapest flight to Margeritaville.
by J. Neil Connelly
My bracket sucks, and they haven't even started the tourney. I'm getting my glory playing a different kind of game.
by John Paul Burgess
There was a day when you could lift your hand to the sky and proclaim, “give me five” with a straight face; that day has
by John Paul Burgess
There have to be better ways to spend a billion or more dollars; today’s billionaires just aren’t trying.
by Johnny Pohlmann
Doggfather, I come to you with the utmost respect. Can I be in your posse?
by J. Neil Connelly
Timing is everything, and the less you’ve done for someone lately, the more inclined they should be to give you what you want.
by Skylar Kangas
If you don’t have the time and energy to expend on a lengthy conversation, try one of these pick-up lines.
by J. Neil Connelly
Occupational competitions allow us to show the world, and our "superiors", how good we are at our jobs.
by Patrick H. Flaherty
Thanks to a steady flow of energy drinks, I feel virile, agile, mobile, and most importantly, awake, for a while.
by Johnny Pohlmann
It’s fitting that America’s two favorite pastimes, baseball and having familiar relations, are inextricably linked.
by sotanLIFE staff
PBS producers realized their mistake was that they were keepin’ it Sesame, but they weren’t keepin’
by J. Neil Connelly
The following mascots have hurt me deeply on a personal level, due to their gross misrepresentation of the historical truth.
Open Your Heart: Since 1986, Open Your Heart to the Hungry and Homeless has been successful in providing food and shelter to Minnesotans in need. As a statewide charitable
organization they primarily assist food shelves, food banks, on-site feeding
programs, shelters, and transitional and permanent supportive housing programs
by providing grants, in order for life's most basic needs to be served. Open Your
Heart grants over 90 percent of all contributions received to nonprofit
organizations, which in turn are used to provide food, shelter, or transitional housing in
Minnesota. OYH passionately carries out this work with a small part-time staff
and innumerable volunteers. For more information please visit www.oyh.org.
 
Try This!
Free Funnies: Acme Comedy Club hosts an open mic night every Monday, providing a forum for local comics to test out new material.  No admission is charged, so you can leave as soon as you have thrown your last tomato.  This is a well run open mic, and while there are occasional duds up there, the talent pool is typically deep.  Guffaw all night without giving up any green for some quality entertainment.  You may find yourself watching the next Nick Swardson or Mitch Hedberg.
Sotan Secret
Peek-A-Boo, Where Are You?: Unbeknownst to many Sotans, the Twin Cities offers one of the nations most comprehensive and elaborate performing arts scenes.  From Broadway musicals, to avant-garde shows, to improv groups, theatre in Minnesota has been forever present, however, rarely recognized among its inhabitants.   Raise your cultural standards and make your way to one of the 40+  theatre venues, located right here in the Twin Cities.  There is a theatre event for all ages and all backgrounds, now you just need to attend. 
24 Ringtone

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